Mental health nurse: more than a title | Talking #TeamCWPT blog

With Nicola Evans, Head of Nursing, children and adolescence mental health services

Trigger warning: this blog contains mention of death by suicide

"I graduated as a nurse at 30 and inherited my great-grandmother's nursing buckle. It wasn't my first profession, but one I had always been fascinated by. My nanny had been a psychiatric nurse and, from the snippets we heard about her, a fantastic one at that! However, we were actively steered away from nursing after nanny retired from nursing facing 'burn out' before her fortieth birthday.

I surprised myself and my family when I enrolled into nursing. I studied at the University of Birmingham, where we studied 3 branches (adult, child and mental health) before choosing a speciality. Only 8 of us chose the mental health branch and it felt as though mental health nursing chose me. Our university and lectures were really great, and I relished the opportunities provided by my nursing placements. Ironically, children and adolescent mental health services (CAMHS) was the only placement I felt fearful of. The thought of being on an acute ward for distressed and unwell children worried me, but I felt privileged to work alongside and with these young people. Life is tough, but, amazingly, they were much tougher! I felt truly inspired and have worked with children ever since.

I briefly worked with adults, as well as children, in my 'forever' job as a CAMHS specialist clinician in psychosis. We were a tight team and were left devastated when one of our colleagues had a stress-related heart attack in their forties. We rode the stress together as a team, and it challenged something within me. When they chose to walk away from the job they loved, I did too.

My career redirected me to Coventry and Warwickshire Partnership NHS Trust's RISE, a responsive CAMHS service that provides wraparound care for children and young people. With Trust support, I recently undertook an MBA in leadership and healthcare, my dissertation focused on workforce development with one key message: The NHS can do nothing without its staff. Mindful of my own wellbeing and of others, I proactively try to connect in networks such as the Nurses Forum for peer supervision.

Being a nurse is the greatest gift: it's taught me to think lightly of myself and deeply of others. 

At 2 and 3 years into my nursing career, 2 of my university peers would die by suicide. Two dedicated and strong-willed young women who wanted to, and very much did, nurse to make the world a better place. I think of Grace and Anna often. To mark their lives, in 2016 and 2017, I purchased personalised mugs for the teams I worked in. These were to serve as a reminder to take breaks, access supervision, and use as a token to seek or offer support. I find comfort in these mugs, nursed by a higher power and a hot drink!

Nurses are 'masters of masking': we're not invincible or we're not always okay, and I would encourage you to reach out if you're struggling. You matter."